ihavebeenfloated

I figured I’d be right in assuming Sara would never call me, so I went and saw Wicker Park as I love Rose Byrne and, despite awful reviews, I had a feeling it would be a good movie. I was right, it was pretty good. The trailer does paint it incorrectly, and also sort of gives away, you know, a key aspect of the entire plot, but it is an entirely different movie than the one presented to you in the trailer. I really enjoyed it. The opening credits suffer a bit from “designeritis” in which multiple scenes of New York are layered over each other in moving bars, it’s definitely very confusing, but luckily that passes after that. I was afraid for the movie at that moment.

It’s very stylishly shot, and the music selection is, despite not being the best, generally good. The performances from all of the main actors are excellent, I think. This is definitely a movie full of coincidences and seemingly pre-arranged events, and if rampant coincidences and things like that break your suspension of disbelief, then you will not enjoy this movie in any way. If you believe that things like this movie can actually happen in reality, then you probably wont have a problem with it. All in all, nothing in the movie strikes me as particularly unbelievable as I’ve seen stranger things happen in my life.

Good movie, go and see it, too bad reviewers have it painted with “straight to video”, which I guess I can’t really disagree with. You could wait for the rental, as I’m sure most people are.

I planned to go and enjoy myself some Rubio’s after the movie, but by the time I got out of the movie I was so hungry and miserable that I didn’t feel quite like eating yet. Really, I think, deep down, the feeling of pure isolation was killing me. I decided I’d walk over to the Rubio’s across from the theater, despite already deciding that I wouldn’t eat there as I am loyal to my local Rubio’s. By the time I walked across the parking lot and a ways down the hill, I realized the chances of me running into people I might want to introduce myself to was very slim, as the only place there was some lame looking cafe and the Rubio’s itself. I walked back to my car.

I drove to the local mall that holds the Rubio’s I go to. I parked near the Starbucks and started walking. I walked past a group of kids who looked like they just got out of high school and habitually hang out at Starbucks afterward. I eyeballed them and I could feel them stare at my back. I walked around the mall for a few looking at shit randomly until I decided it was high time for me to finally eat my planned Rubio’s.

I walked back, and in approach to the group of kids, they all sort of spun and looked at me. I looked each of them directly in the eyes as they looked at me, and smiled, so they averted their gaze as if they weren’t all looking at me. I heard one of them mention something about long hair as I had already passed them. I walked down past the starbucks and past the Rubio’s and sat on a planter. I knew I had to do something about this as I could feel their fear practically calling to me. It wasn’t so long ago that I was their age, I know how they feel and I know how absolutely terrifying it would be for some guy you were eyeballing to just come up to you and start talking to you like old friends. I desperately wanted to do this, as one of the chicks was dressed rather punker and was hotter than shit.

I sat there for a long time mulling over it, spinning a quarter in my fingers.

I got up and walked back to Starbucks, intent on buying a coffee and then heading to them and asking them if they have any cigarettes, as I have been wanting one for a while. I was hoping they’d want some and I would buy them some in exchange for a few of them. I got my coffee and stepped out the front, looking for a chair near them. I knew I could just pull the chair over and ask to sit with them and just do it regardless of what they said. I could see myself doing it all, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I sat right next to them at a table near them, pulled out my journal and started writing while listening to their pointless conversations.

The guy nearest me was obviously bothered by my presence, as he was the one most obviously disturbed by my previous eye contact. I knew they thought I was following them already. He did not say another word the entire time I sat there, the chick across from him asking him what was wrong. When they started whispering so I couldn’t hear, I was pretty sure it was about me. I glanced at a few of them every now and then and smiled, trying to be as creepy as possible.

When the bothered guy got up to leave, and the other four of them wondered what was up and started following him, I got up as well. I followed them at a safe distance so they didn’t really notice me, until the bothered one had them stop and all turn and look at me. Eye contact again and smiling, but I brushed past them and continued walking, not really knowing where the hell I was going. I rounded a corner without them behind me and waited a while. Then, up and back around again.

They were no where in sight but I knew where they went, so I headed up the escalator and, yes, there they were. Brushed past them again with them all looking at me, went on my way. Rounded a corner, and sat on a bench waiting for them to come this way, but they didn’t. I got back up and walked the long way around, still rehearsing things I could possibly say to them. I realized that I wasn’t going to, and went down the escalator near where they were hanging around and walked back to my car.

As I drove out, I drove right past them. I thought about asking them if they wanted a lift, but some cars got in my way. I saw which way they were going and pulled through the intersection and took a left into a parking lot. I parked right up against the sidewalk and got out right as they were approaching. I didn’t act on the moment, and instead walked toward the bank the parking lot was for, then turned around and waited in my car. I drove home down the street, realizing they would walk right past my house. I searched my car frantically for a cigarette I knew wasn’t there, but was hoping. I came inside and went to the bathroom, then I headed out on my porch just in time for them to walk by… but they didn’t notice.

I have a bad feeling I’m going to try to hunt them down some more next Wednesday if I have the chance. I assume they hang out there after school. Maybe I will be the creepy guy who implants himself in their conversations for a while. They’ll go to school on Wednesdays and wonder if that strange guy will be there waiting for them again, wondering if he’ll end up talking to them, or kidnapping them and killing them. I find something uniquely interesting about that idea, forcibly inserting yourself subversively into someones psyche, even if just for a little while. Fuck, it gives me something to do, right?