ihavebeenfloated

Why in the fuck am I doing DXM again? I don’t know. I could rattle on about how I need it and blah blah blah, and then I’d sound just like a fucking user, loser. Which, I’ll admit, I am. I’m doing DXM again because I am weak and spineless. Life has kicked me in the balls and I need something that will rub them gently while whispering sweet nothings in my ear, and in the absence of a girl, DXM is the best I have. Now it’s easily accessable thanks to DexAlone, so I’m ready to go. Looks like Robotussin has released some new cough gel things as well, more expensive than 300mg of DexAlone, for a same 300mg dosage in a bottle, about a dollar more I think. 15mg a pill for 20 pills or so, very strange. It looks like they’re all catering to the market now that DexAlone has been doing it.

Crazy shit. Fuck this talking shit, it’s time to roll. I’m going to trip my goddamn balls off.

One Hour In: I’m still waiting for it to kick in. I don’t remember it taking so long. FYI I took a mid range second plateau dose, about 5mg/kg for my body weight.

Twenty Minutes Later: I’m starting to feel kind of sick. I had computer router issues and had t osit working on bills computer, my stomach hurts, i think i’m going to puke, i need to lay down.

3 minutes later: Finally, it’s kicking in.

Wh the fuck kknows what time: motor skills deteriorating. i’m feeling pretty god. “kicking in” wasnt really kicking in, was about, i estimate, fifty minutes ago. no visualizations but i fee ldamn good. can’t see anything really but luckil i can still type semicoherantly i get bouts of nauseaness but i have not puked yet but i dont plan on it. olivia tremor control sounds really cool

my head got really itchy while laying in bed. 22 hours without sleep. i started to scratch it but realized that if i ekpt scratching with the force i was exterting on my head i would peel my scalp off. never risked indangering myself before, forced myself to stop. that could have been bad. will lay down some more now.

8:38 really starting to freak out now going a little insane i think no cant d oit not talking to mysef sleome may hear.

9:03 i dont know if bll knows i went out to go to the bathroom but for all i know he ignored me but i dont know if i’ve been alking to msyelf god i am such an ass. you must have extreme confidence in yourself on dxm. i wnet to the bathroom. i can’t remember if i took a crap or not, but i am sure i didn’t. but if idid, i am sure i wiped, but i don’t know. that’s a problem. i feel ver y far away from the monitor. like distant. i dont know waht i’m saying. i’m, totally sure i’ gping to regrty that bathroom comment later as i know i didn’t shit and someone s going to go ‘omg you shit and didnt wipe you junkie’ and then i will cry but really, i laid in bed for like ten minutes trying to summon the courage to urinate and there was no feces involved. god i am so far away from the monitor. i have to close my eyes to type wthout gettingsick.

9:07 the teeth chattering

10:01 I’m alive, i guess i’m going to sleep. i feel like a kid again, it is nice. i am ashamed of myself but it’s ok because i feel good. living many lives inside my head is scary. being half asleep on dxm is like lucid dreaming, sort ofd, you can seee what is happening and you have some control over it but sometimes t changes. My subconscience was speaking directly to me for a while and that really fcking freaked me out. I don’t really know waht to make of it. I expected answers, I wanted the truth, I wanted to be enlightened like Iwas before… but al i got was myself. maybe that’s all there is. me

I’m it. Hello. I will not remember any of this so is should keep typin as to surprise myself wehn i wake up. 24 hours since i last woek up

i am so tired

fuck this. night.

10:08 man icant even rememeber what i wrote. when does this end? i can’t even think. it’s so confusing. i dont want to lay down anymore, but i can’t see atyhing. i’m so tired but… there is so mcu…. fucking shit i’m screwed