ihavebeenfloated

Crazy being up late and having no one be online. Not a single soul. I mean, sure, there’s a few random people I haven’t spoken to in, say, two years, but there isn’t anyone I actually know on, and that’s weird. Oh, and it makes me feel lonely, but that’s really quite beside the point.

Not even sure what I’m doing awake still. I’m tired.

I’ve been playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas non-stop. It’s a fucking blast, and I’m enjoying it a lot more than Vice City. It’s really amazing how well they pulled off Los Angeles in the Los Santos area. Just like LA. I can’t speak for the San Francisco clone because I’ve never been there. Haven’t gotten to the Las Vegas-like area yet, either. But, I can’t stress enough how amazingly well they pulled off the feeling of suburban Los Angeles. It’s really amazing. There’s something about the early/mid nineties gang banger characters that really appeal to me, I feel like I’m at home with them… which is weird, because I’m the whitest gringo motherfucker you could ever imagine, but I’ve had my days in the past. This’ll probably be the first GTA I actually play all the way through.

Goddamnit. I have less than $10 in my bank account, and 1and1 sends me a $60 bill for my hosting. That… you know… sucks. A lot. Especially when my next unemployment check is probably a week away. Wow, this really sucks.

Le sigh. I’m slowly writing this post over the course of what will probably turn into an hour.

I watched Spaceballs earlier today. It’s amazing when a movie is actually has funny as you remember it being when you were young. I’m sure if I watched 3 Amigos today I’d probably shoot myself in the face, but I don’t know. Watching Army of Darkness still summons up a ridiculously giddy feeling from inside myself.

I could lay down and read this collection of short stories I’m working on.

I read the first part of Bliss, written by Peter Carey, the other day. Then I returned the book to the library. I remember commenting to Brenda at school, “I really love books about really terrible people, and Bliss is just full of horrible people,” and I wasn’t lying, but Bliss tries to make the horrible people funny, or ironic in some way, and I just wasn’t in the mood for it. You add up the ideas of your wife cheating on you, visiting you in the hospital while you think you’re dying and she’s just worried that the semen of another man that is stored in her vagina might seep past kleenex holding it in and you might get a whiff of it, while back at your house your son is bribing his younger sister into giving him a blow job for a bag of weed, and the sum of it isn’t really something I find overwhelmingly amusing. Maybe it’s just me and my sour outlook as of late, but no amount of wit can make that situation even chuckle worthy.

The short story book I’m working on is Sonny Liston Was a Friend of Mine by Thom Jones. I’ve never heard of Thom Jones, but I saw the shiny new hardcover sitting on the shelf, and even though it has a pair of boxing gloves on the cover, I picked it up and checked out the summary. I saw this:

“You Cheated, You Lied” tells the deranged love story of two unstable people abandoning their lives and medications to live together in a shack on a Honolulu beach—with disasterous results.

And I just had to pick it up. I have a bit of a fascination with crazy self-medicating characters, and especially when two of them get together. I’m halfway through the short and I’m really enjoying it. Wish I had myself a woman just as whacked out as me. Oh, wait, I did. It wasn’t any fun! How could I have forgotten…

These last two books I’ve mentioned have had one thing in common: the vulgarity/descriptiveness of the sex in them. It’s really surprising to me to find such frank, and most of all, realistic, depictions of sex in supposedly “normal” books. I’ve read published erotica that is less revealing in its language than these last two books. Pretty cool, really. Shows me that I can, if I could, write proper sex scenes if I really wanted to. Unfortunately the language of erotica eludes me completely and I can never sort the words out correctly. (With the exception of the sex sequence in I Awake which I don’t remember except that it was effective and someone comment on the fact that it was good.)

I wasn’t joking when I said this post would probably be written over an hour. It’s 2:14 AM now. An hour after the first save.

I really want to find Horby’s A Long Way Down. Knowing libraries, they wont have it for a year.

I’ve been listening to Jon Brion’s Meaningless non-stop. Really need to review it, but it’s one of those albums where all I could say is, “OMGOMGOMGOMG,” or something.

An hour and fifteen minutes. Going to sleep I guess.