ihavebeenfloated

The gigantic erection is nearly finished. I never told anyone what it was, including the two women who share a table with me, though they were very annoyed at the fact that I kept saying it was a secret. I was expecting it to be pretty obvious once I started to build the head, the ridge and everything. I think the detail on the shaft made it pretty apparent as it was, but no one guessed.

Well, that’s not true. Both women kept saying, “Is it a penis?” Then they’d change their mind when I wouldn’t confirm it, coming up with strange things like a squid or a person praying (?) and other assorted junk. Only when there was just another inch or so I needed to build to complete the tip did they finally state with some confidence that they thought it was a penis.

I nodded, and the older one of the two went, “Ew, you can’t do that!”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because!”

“Look around this room. You see the sculptures with nude women on them? How is this any different than that?”

“Well, it’s, just… you know, wrong.”

“That’s exactly my point. How you’re reacting is exactly why I am doing it.”

Then I proceeding to explain to her the entire reasoning behind it. The United States being uptight about sex, more so than they are about religion, and how it’s funny that pornography is nearly the center of our culture universally but as far as popular culture goes it’s pretty uptight. Especially so when you consider the male erection, and how it’s usually seen as something unattractive, something to be hidden at all times… but the female body and female genitalia is often seen as a thing of beauty. You’re more likely to see an exposed vagina in popular film as opposed to an exposed penis, why?

She said, “Oh my god, Brad. You’re my hero. Seriously.”

Both women at my table decided after that point that my sculpture was something that absolutely had to get made, regardless of whatever issues I might encounter while trying to complete it. I gained two supporters today. Not only that, but I gained some new insight into art.

There’s numerous times I’ve encountered things you can consider art, and I’ve regarded them as something obscene or lacking integrity. Basically I have shunned many things in the art world due to the fact that I probably just didn’t understand. Perhaps had the artist explained to me the purpose and the message of his art, then I would have appreciated it.

I’ve always thought that art is something that should be appreciated for it’s technicality. The beauty and love in its creation was the most important thing to me. Now I finally see that message can be just as important to appreciating art as the form itself then.

I suppose I just had to walk a mile in some other artist’s shoes to see the real point of a lot of art.

Also, I’ve learned a lot about myself by doing this. I thought a lot of my self-confidence, and perhaps my arrogance, was mostly a shield to protect myself emotionally from other people. It wasn’t a real thing, I thought, but now I realize that it is. I’ve taken this entire project seriously and when I am faced with someone who doesn’t understand, I sternly explain my actions and let that be that. If they don’t understand after that, then they are not worth my time.

If someone wants to make a martyr out of me because of this, I am more than willing to accept it.

I never knew, before this, that I could be that kind of person. I’ve always dreamed of being that person, someone who will stand up for what they believe in no matter what, but I didn’t think I had the backbone. I’ve always had the desire to stand up to authority figures or other naysayers, but I’ve always backed down.

Now, I’m not backing down, no matter what happens. The fact that I’ve gotten this far makes me extremely proud of myself.

Pretty awesome.