ihavebeenfloated

Breaking up with someone you love is the hardest and worst thing I can ever imagine doing.

I wish I didn’t do it… but I know that I had to… and that makes it even worse, I think.

It’s hard not to belittle all my feelings and emotions just for the sake of love, and it feels like I am doing the wrong thing, but I know that’s not right.

But it still hurts.

I wish I could take it back. As I stood there and watched her cry over it all I wanted to do was hug her and say I’m sorry and take it all back, but I knew that wasn’t fair to her emotions or my own.

I thought the worst thing was to have your heart broken, because that was an unbarable feeling that I could do absolutely nothing about, but this is far worse.

This was my own choice, one that I made on my own, one that I could (maybe) change, but I can’t allow myself to. I want nothing more than to change it all, reverse over the tape and erase it all and forget it happened… but I can’t. I can’t let myself do that.

What the fuck.

I just feel kind of sick now.

This was the best relationship I’ve ever been in, if it just wasn’t for a few small things… no, big things I guess, I can’t belittle them…

Ugh.

Can’t help it though. I feel like I’ve just made the worst decision of my life.

I wish I could see inside your mind, see what you really think and feel, but I can’t.

I wish I was angry, but I’m not, I’m just sad.