ihavebeenfloated

So, my comic-con saga. This is going to be fun. I wish I had taken more pictures.

Mike, Verne, and I decided to go down to San Diego this weekend. I had talked to Bill about going down and staying with him just as a fluke to get myself out of LA for a while while I have time. After I did that, Mike said he wanted to go down to San Diego to see Danny, for reasons I still don’t understand. (Something about Danny moving, but either moving back up here or moving somewhere else in San Diego, but Mike gave the impression that it was some sort of major reason involving him driving down to San Diego and I still don’t fully comprehend this situation…)

Diggnation (which I don’t partake in) was doing a taping at bar, so the plan was to drive down Friday night and hit up the bar when Mike got off work and maybe meet some Digg people or something. Then we’d head to Danny’s and go to sleep and wake up Saturday and do all sorts of cool San Diego stuff. As in touristy stuff that I kind of knew was cool for couples but not for four twenty-one year old guys so, well, anyway. Then Sunday we’d go to Comic-Con for $15 and check that out. I wanted to go to Comic-Con, which is why I was going.

The first snag was that Verne called Mike while we were eating Friday afternoon and tried to back out because he didn’t have any money. I told him I’d pay for his food if it came down to it and we managed to pressure him into going.

The second snag was that before we even managed to pick Verne up at about 10:00 PM Friday, Danny had called and said that the Diggnation taping was already over and he left because the place was small and no one was there. Mike was kind of pissed already. So the plan changed to drive to Danny’s.

We made great time to San Diego and got to Danny’s around 12:30 in the morning. He lives in an apartment building that is literally separate by a fence from Cox Arena and his college, SDSU. As such, he lived in a college apartment building, which meant that we got to bare witness to lots of really bad, really loud music (that supposedly goes on every single night of the week no matter what), little asian girls crying (comedy gold, in all honesty), and stupid college guys walking around with their shirts off.

We sat down in his apartment, which was hot, stuffy, and loud, and immediately I felt immense waves of sorrow and loneliness. I realized fully that this weekend was totally going to be a bust, and that coming down here to escape my “problems” only made them worse due to the sheer amount of self that was reflecting back at me. Hanging out on a Friday night. People all around us having fun. Two of the four of us are virgins, one is barely not even a virgin as far as I’m concerned (seriously, one woman should not be enough to consider someone broken of virginity, though I suppose if you do it enough, maybe, but still. I’ve been thinking a lot about this, obviously), and all in all it was sort of depressing that we’d all just sit there on a mini-vacation and stare at each other.

Basically, I would have been happier and having more fun had I just sat at home and played on my computer. That is sad.

So I said we all need to go do something, and although it was already 1:00 AM, we went to the Gaslamp Quarter. We parked, we walked around, and then we returned to our car utterly defeated. A place like that is no place for a bunch of indie slash emo looking guys. All the women are all dolled up like whores (vomit) and all the men are drunk and stupid (watched one guy spray vomit out from around a cloth he was holding to his mouth inside of a bar, that was fucking awesome). Everyone is somewhere between the ages of 26 and 34. It was sad.

I said, standing outside our car, is that we suffer from a number of issues that make such social outings extremely difficult. (1) We feel too intelligent; (2) As such, we are extremely self-aware at all times; (3) This prevents us from acting like total assholes.

So, Gaslamp was bust.

We got back at about 2:30 in the morning and at that point I had decided that the “exploring San Diego” on Saturday idea was fucking busted and that I (we) was going to go to Comic-Con on Saturday and just leave Saturday night because why the fuck sit around and do nothing when I can do that at home and have fun doing it.

I ended up going to sleep in my car around 4:30 in the morning, while Mike, Verne, and Danny went back up to his apartment and stayed up. Their mistake. Admittedly, in my car, I as pouring sweat endlessly. I actually ended up just sleeping in my boxers and a t-shirt in the back seat of my car, for the whole world to see, but I don’t think anyone cared to look. I figured, Hey, it’s a college apartment building, I’m sure they see a lot worse than a sweaty skinny white guy passed out in his car.

I had Trista set up to call me and wake me up at 8:00 AM so I set out on a quest for over three hours of sweaty sleep. I don’t think I really managed to fall asleep until about 6:00 AM due to the discomfort and sweatiness. By the time my phone rang at 8:00 AM, my pillow was soggy. It wasn’t just sweaty, the pillowcase alone wasn’t damp, my entire pillow was quite literally soggy. It was kind of gross. Two soggy pillows on either side of my head. (I sleep with my head sandwiched between two pillows, with my arms on either sides of them to apply constant pressure to both sides of my head, it prevents headaches and general bitchiness.)

I went up stairs and found their door just wide open, walked in and saw Mike and Verne sleeping, and took a shower. They were planning on waking up later and coming to Comic-Con after me, their mistake again.

I got to Comic-Con at about 9:30 AM. I got some pretty cheap all-day parking and embarked on my pilgrimage to the San Diego Convention Center. I didn’t have much of a wait in line, it was really nice. I got my form, filled it out on the hand-rail of the escalator, and walked right in and got my pass.

Upon entering Comic-Con I immediately saw a presentation hall labeled “LOST, Season 3” and SHIT MY FUCKING PANTS. I ran inside ASAP.

This is what it looked like inside. I was pretty much exactly in the middle of the hall.

I had about a 45 minute wait before the panel discussion started, so I pulled out my DS lite and went into Pictochat to see if anyone was using it. Sure enough, there was one nearly full room that I went into, in which any sort of conversation was impossible, so I left. Then I went into the second room that only had five people in it, and conversation was still impossible, so I suggested that everyone in Pictochat just hold up their DS. Sure enough I saw about four DS’s fly in the air. I did the same and saw a group of two kids in the front look back at me and wave.

This moment really sealed the coolness of Comic-Con for me early on. The fact that I was sitting in a packed hall and kids and adults were willing to wave their DS’s in the air like morons in order to identify themselves to other people was really cool. I just don’t see that happening many places.

I left Pictochat shortly after and put my DS away. For the next half an hour, every now and then I’d see someone in front of me (and once behind me) wave their DS’s in the air. I was proud to think that I started a trend that would continue throughout presentations at Comic-Con throughout the day.

A while later, the LOST panel started. They showed a clip from the LOST Diaries which was nifty, then some behind the scenes stuff from the Season 2 DVD, involving Hurley’s little “fight” with Sawyer, which was immensely entertaining. After that the group of co-creator/executive producer Damon Lindelof and executive producers Bryan Burk and Carlton Cuse came out along with Hurley and Jin themselves, Jorge Garcia and Daniel Dae Kim. Here’s a really bad picture of one of the screens.

The discussion was really cool. There was one woman who went up to the mic and said, “I was wondering if you guys were surprised that you didn’t get an Emmy nomination this year for Best Drama, because I wasn’t,” which elicited some boos from the audience and clapping from me and a spattering of people. Then some crazy chick who I guess is part of the “lost experience” online ARG showed up and went fucking ape-shit on the mic, which much cheering and hollering and pandemonium in result. It was pretty fucking awesome. She was screaming shit about the Hanso Foundation being real and “how dare they” give free promotion to such a heinous company, etc, etc. It was brilliant stuff. The whole while the panel on stage was just completely blown out of the water. I suppose it’s not hard to act shocked and surprised at a looney even when it’s just a plant when it is so convincing. That bitch was fucking crazy awesome on so, so many levels.

I hate to say it put that panel really put my level of LOST fandom up to new levels. They were really cool and while they dodged a lot of questions, the producer you see sitting next to Daniel in the above photo was really hilarious as well as the producer who was sitting next to him, I’m not sure of their names specifically, but later I got the signature of the older producer at the Brisco County Jr signing. The day had obviously had him by then, as I don’t even remember him saying anything to me. They were all funny and they straight-forwardly answered a lot of questions I expected them to have more fun with.

Specifically the producer in the blue shirt out-right said, straight face, no bullshit, that the hieroglyphs on the count-down timer in the hatch mean, “Underworld”. Whatever the fuck that means. It’s one of those moments where you’re like, “Holy shit, we just got a 100% straight answer… BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN HOLY SHIT MOTHERFUCK”

One question made allusions to the island being Oz, and they had some fun with that one, explaining a lot of the references to Oz that I never had gotten.

Another asked the “underwater hatch question” in which the guy in the blue shirt said, “Well, I wont deny that you may some day hear or see an underwater hatch,” and the other producer cut in and said, “I wouldn’t confirm that you may some day hear or see an underwater hatch,” which was really funny and was typically the semi-norm. There were some character questions that got good answers but a lot of the stuff was just fun drivel.

After that I hit the exhibit hall, which is what I was really there for. I made my way to the Capcom booth because I had heard about an awesome Phoenix Wright stylus. I got there and the woman promptly told me she didn’t have any for sale. At which point I yelled out, “FUCK YOU CAPCOM!” and never returned to that booth. And when I would pass it, I would look at them all scornfully with a Christopher Lambert-class icey-stare on my face.

I walked around a lot. I don’t remember an exact sequence of events. There were a lot of people there and it was foolish of me to not take more pictures, but that’s OK.

I eventually went to lunch around 1:00 PM. The waves of people outside at Gaslamp were amazing. It took about half an hour in line to get Subway.

Mike, Danny, and Verne finally showed up at 2:00 PM I think, by that point the fire marshal said that no one else should be allowed in Comic-Con, so they didn’t get to come. I was kind of relieved, as I was having a really good time and I didn’t really want them to have to follow me around in my spastic form of navigating the exhibit hall. I really think Comic-Con is a personal experience that should only be shared with someone you are really, really close to. I think going around with a girlfriend would have been fine, but with a group of friends with dissimilar interests, I just don’t really see it working well.

So, they left.

Here’s a picture from the “Snakes on a Plane” booth. I meant to take an upclose picture of the Wings pin I got at the booth but whatever.

Seriously, that shit looked like fake denim along with the “leather jacket” looking like it was made out of latex. I don’t understand this film costume crap but I suppose that’s movie magic for you.

I ended up running into a Sig Haig booth, but it was closed.

I returned later to find the man sitting there in the flesh, with people walking by just staring at him. I’m not much of a fan so I was totally comfortable with walking up and saying, “Shit, man, people are just walking by and gawking like you’re some kind of freak show.”

To which he replied, “Heh… how’re you doin’?”

I ended up getting a glossy signed by him for Trista. I told him that she was my ex-girlfriend and to write something really nasty and mean. Then, I told him that she had cheated on me, at which point he let rip with a big laugh and went to work thinking about what to write. Here’s him doing that.

He came up with some things, I think he said something like, “let my hands hold your knees,” and then he thought of a few other things but decided better of it. Finally he said, “I guess I’ll stick with the character, how about, ‘I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em’?” At which point I shit my pants because I actually often said that line to Trista in regards to my feelings about her man-addiction. So, I said yeah, and he wrote that down, and here’s a picture of him doing that.

After that, I went behind the counter and had someone take this awful picture of me and Sid Haig. I wasn’t going to put this online but I figured, why not? Everyone already knows I’m ugly. Also, I am so greasy and sweaty and tired at this point that it’s not even fucking funny.

After a few more hours I realized that after all this walking, I never bought myself anything. So I made my way back to a booth called the “Cthulhiana Corner” and tried to decide on what I should buy.

I’ve been battling lately with whether my strange draw toward tentacles and cthulhu (which is unfortunately becoming slightly trendy and stereotypical I feel, especially on the internet), oh, and cats too, is due to my relationship with Trista, or if there is an honest draw and interest in it with me. I feel that there is something powerfully sexual in the Cthulhu mythos, which I don’t know too much of, and I am intensely drawn to that. Tentacles in general are sexual to reasons that have the internet entirely to blame I think, but whatever. I see fear and pleasure… anyway, enough.

I bought myself a collection of Lovecraft’s tales and this really fucking awesome leatherman-like tool thing just because I thought it was painfully fucking cool and seriously, I don’t often splurge money on totally useless junk I just want to collect, and even though it’s probably one of those things that is churned out generically for all I know, it is awesome.

I can just imagine myself ripping out people’s teeth and cutting them open with it while I laugh manically.

I also picked up this sticker for Trista but maybe I’ll keep it. It’s tasty.

After that I just waited around for Bruce Campbell, he was there promoting the new DVD for Brisco County Jr which is pretty cool I guess. After waiting in like about 45 minutes, standing, on my feet, tired, exhausted, sweaty, annoyed, I got the chance to walk up to Bruce Campbell.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” I said.

“Ah, well, it’s a pleasure to be met,” and he scrawled his illegible signature on my postcard and I was on my way.

That kind of sucked. But at the same time the simple fact that I got to see the man in person is enough to shit my pants. That’s like if I ever bumped into Kevin Smith on the street and fell into his orbit. Seriously.

Alright, this next picture is just all the swag I got. The only stuff I purchased is the Lovecraft and the tool at the bottom of the picture.

Clockwise, starting from the bag of chips out of frame that I got from Subway for lunch and still haven’t eaten.

Mario postcard from the Nintendo booth. The Nintendo booth was really cool, it was swamped with people with DS’s. There was nothing Wii anywhere to be seen unless I was totally blind. They had a download station up but it only had demos of Brain Age, Big Brain Academy (shoulda checked that out) and Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis, which I played and it was pretty gay. I ran into some guy there who had to have been at least 25 who went on to me about how the DS lite belongs to his mother because she wanted it for Brain Age and she probably plays it more for me and MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER, holy fuck jesus christ I got away from that guy as soon as possible.

The Fountain poster, which I think is a neatly designed poster. I picked it up before I got to the pleasure to receive a cold shoulder from Bruce Campbell.

The Henry Rollins Show poster and free t-shirt. Fucking awesome. What day out is complete without a free shirt? I like Henry Rollins. I should watch his show. I’m a fucking douche bag for not watching his show. I wish Henry Rollins was there. I would like to walk up to him and say, “You know, I have no idea who the fuck you are, really, but I have immense amounts of respect for you because you’re HENRY FUCKIN ROLLINS! Oh and you could probably pop my head simply by concentrating, that too elicits respect.”

Er Komic? Sock monkey? It was a cute poster they had at the Dark Horse booth (or should I say… EXPERIENCE) and so I picked it up. The only comic book related think I really saw and picked up that interested me.

The Horse Head from my Brisco County Jr. stuff kind of invades the picture here.

Full Metal Alchemist cardboard poster from the Square-Enix booth. As if I even like anime and shit. Whatever. There’s some cool looking temporary tattoos they gave me, too. Just in case I already don’t have enough Asian looking shit on my body.

There’s the small post-card Bruce signed, along with a bigger poster which is nice. I would pay to go to comic-con just to collect posters every year and wallpaper my house with them. Fuck floral patterns and plain painted walls. I want shit I don’t care about all over my walls.

There’s a V mask on a stick. I saw a lot of people walking around with actual plastic V masks and I’m really kind of pissed off now that I didn’t get one, because I’d really like to do retarded “magic” tricks wearing it and put them up on YouTube. Oh, wait, someone already beat me to that. Fucking gay.

You can see the “safety instructions” and the Snakes on a Plane pin that I got right next to the stick. I’m sorry I didn’t take a better picture of them but they are pretty cool.

There’s some more Square and Dark Horse crap above my Lovecraft shit.

There’s a 14 day trial of World of Warcraft. I’m really tempted to install that and then slash my own throat with a razor blade.

Also there is some shitty dragon novel excerpt and a postcard for A Scanner Darkly that is nice.

All in all I had a really fucking awesome time and I’ll definitely be going next year. Maybe not for all four days (seriously who the fuck could do that?) but maybe two at the most just so that if I get tired I can just fucking bail and not worry about it. There really is too much exhibit floor to effectively see in just one day if you really want to see everything. I’d say I probably saw maybe half of everything that was available to me. There really is no knowing how much shit I missed, but I’d rather not know, you know? That’s a lot of knows.

If you’ve always been meaning to go to Comic-Con, you need to go. I don’t even care about comics and there was so much shit there to keep me interested it was unbelievable. I’ll go back next year just to see the LOST panel again. Totally awesome.

I left about an hour and a half before closing, since I was tired and did all I thought I wanted to do. I drove back to Danny’s and Mike, Verne, and him were all just sitting around looking miserable. Mike was the worst, he was all emo and depressed. It was slightly amusing for me. He was all upset that he didn’t really get to do anything he planned to do in San Diego, he just sat around like he would at home. I think he was a little under appreciative of the fact that technically he did what he really went for (hanging out with Danny), but I can understand why he’d be upset.

We left after, the drive back up to LA was exhausting. All of me hurt and I was tired.

I came home and promptly passed out nearly instantaneously for a few hours. Now here I am writing this entry.

All in all I had a great time. Sure, sucks for my friends, but I had a fantastic time and I’m really glad I went.

The end.