ihavebeenfloated

This the last OKCupid profile I wrote up before deciding to delete it.

Hi. I’m Brad. I often wonder if there is some sort of psychological difference that causes people to say, “My name is (Name),” as opposed to, “I’m (Name).” It’s the sort of thing that could possibly define a lot about a person, or maybe not mean anything at all. I’m Brad. That’s who I am.

First up, this profile might be a bit different than most. I’m going to be a little specific here and there. This is just because my experiences on OKCupid have so far been a little less than spectacular, but that’s not your fault. Here’s a few guidelines that I’d like you to follow while looking at my profile.

1.) If our match percentage is below 65%, then maybe you should just go away.

2.) If our match percentage is above 75%, then you should message me immediately. Have faith in the system, give it a chance, don’t even bother reading the rest of my profile.

3.) I like to meet people. I don’t like to sit around instant messaging people for weeks, even simply days, trying to get them to allow me to meet them. People like this piss me off. This is a site meant to be used to meet people. Starbucks or Jamba Juice are well-lit highly public places where it is perfectly safe to meet someone for the first time. I like to utilize these locations. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of meeting someone from OKCupid in real life within the first few conversations (if not immediately in the first place), just go away right now because I’m not interested. If our conversation is great you’ll probably find me asking for a phone number or a location of interest within the first hour or two.

Obviously I have a slightly powerful personality. I’m not really a commanding person, though I can be dominating if I am requested to be. In fact, I’m pretty passive, but I like to talk a lot. I’m good for advice and conversation once I get comfortable with you. I think Brad can be a valuable asset to many people’s lives once they realize how to properly utilize me. Yeah, I’m that awesome.

I’m a bit unique in some ways, or at least according to most people there really is only one of me out there. I have a strange way of looking at the world according to some people. I have extremely eclectic taste in music, and typical taste in movies. I’m very opinionated but I wont push it on you unless you push yours on me. Overall, I like to believe I’m a good person. I’m honest, and trustworthy.

I think I am of a dying breed of men who are actually good for their word. A handshake with me is as good as a contract written in blood and bound on the level of our souls, and a simple word is a contract in ink and binding legally. Quite simply, if I tell you I will do something for you, it is as good as done. If I promise you something, I will go to the ends of earth to follow through on it if I have to.

Just don’t betray my trust in you.

I’m a hopeless romantic, but I’m also jaded, bitter, and cynical. I’ve had a lot of bad luck in my love life but I try to not let it get me down. But, I’ll admit, I’m kind of damaged goods at this point.

If you’re looking for romantic involvement, I think sex is extremely important in any relationship. I also like to have a lot of it. If you have an insatiable sex-drive, well, I’m your man. I’m not joking in the least, nor am I blowing smoke up your ass, I am the type of guy who can go again in ten minutes after an hour of sex. This is just a fact I realized I need to put out there in advance. Sorry if it offends.

I’m of Yugoslavian heritage primarily, but I am totally Californian, down to a proud love of avocados. The Slav in me is the reason I have such a unique, and prominent nose. I like women who like my nose. That probably makes sense. I only learned within the last year that there are women out there who can actually appreciate my nose. They’re usually the kind of women who think Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie are really hot. That’s cool with me. If you like my nose, shoot me a line, we already have something in common right there.

I’m really skinny. When I say really skinny I mean that I am easily accused of being anorexic. But I’m not, I am just naturally very skinny. As before, some women find this really attractive, and some don’t. If you’re into partial skeletons with a bit of muscle definition, again, I’m your man. Those are the two most important physical characteristics that separate me from most people.

Oh, actually, there’s a third physical characteristic that is probably bit more distinctive than any of them, but you’re just going to have to find out about that one on your own.

For a wide example of music that I listen to often, you can check out my Last.FM Profile, but if you’re too lazy, here’s a short list of music I’ve been listening to a lot lately: Eels, Harry Nilsson, Chris Isaak, The Dresden Dolls, Nine Inch Nails, Michael Penn, XTC, Sleater-Kinney, Peter Gabriel, The Olivia Tremor Control, Local H, The Essex Green, Harvey Danger, Cat Stevens, The Beatles, The Polyphonic Spree, Marissa Nadler…

If you really like any of the above artists, especially some of the most unique onces (The Spree, Gabriel, XTC, OTC), be sure to drop me a line. I have a lot of music, (over two thousand albums on my computer), so I like a lot of other stuff as well. We should talk about it sometime. I can always talk music. I can be a little pretentious when it comes to certain things in music and I may offend you, but if I don’t, well then we have something good going on.

I read a lot of Philip K. Dick and Charles Bukowski. In fact that is almost all I read these days. One of my favorite books is The Black Brook by Tom Drury. Another one is The World According to Garp by John Irving, which is kind of a guideline for, (1) what my life is like, (2) what my life will be like, (3) what I wish my life was more like. As sad as that sounds to say.

As far as movies go, I like the same crap that everyone else does on OKCupid. I wrote the “The Proper Donnie Darko Test” that is here on OKCupid. I should try to figure out if I can claim ownership over it since I deleted my old account. I should have thought of that first. Anyway, as such, Donnie Darko is one of my favorite films. Aside from that, just go to someone else’s profile, someone who isn’t hardcore into anime, and copy and paste their list of favorite movies into my profile and you’ll probably not be too far off.

Aside from that, I’m just a student. Maybe an English major. Maybe a future teacher. It’s all maybes. As such I don’t have bundles of cash but I have a car and I like to go places and hang out. I’m good for that. Expensive dates aren’t really my thing.

An expensive date in my range of interest would be going to Jamba Juice and then heading to Hot Dog On A Stick. If that is your idea of romantic, then we’re going to get married.

I’m a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy. All the time. Usually a plain white t-shirt and regular jeans, with dr. martens. With my hair shaved so short, this makes me look like a skinhead. FYI, I am neither a Nazi nor a SHARP. I am just keeping my hair short at this period in my life and I like to wear white t-shirts and jeans.

I smoke cigarettes. Not obsessively, maybe a pack a week. I don’t drink, and I don’t do drugs. I used to do both. I would hope a prospective partner is the same way. Smoker, no drinking and no drugs. I consider alcohol and drug consumption a weakness these days. That’s just how I am.

I like quirky women. I like spooky girls and goth chicks. I also like women who shop at the Gap, so I’m really not that specific. But still, I’m quirky, so maybe you’re quirky. I say quirky too much.

Anyhoo… I think I covered all the bases. I hope you’ve got a pretty good idea of me, now. Message me at your leisure.