ihavebeenfloated

Today was the second day of Bible Study.

I realized something: really strongly religious people, younger people, my age, seem to miss the point completely. I can read the chapter in this lousy book and look at the questions and see where they’re going and the point they’re trying to make and understand it. Is this due to great reading comprehension or a better understanding of the Christian “faith”? I’m not entirely sure, but all I know is that I read off the questions, painfully obvious questions relating childlike youth and wonder to some of Jesus’ teachings in the Bible, and I get a bunch of blank stares.

I understand that feeling, I can relate to it in a lot of things. But you’d think that people who have been strongly religious the majority of their life would have a better understanding of this material than I do. But, on the other hand, I see a lot of Gnostic influences in everything I see pertaining to scripture. The concept of being “childlike” in the presence of God’s Kingdom (or whatever) is somewhat fundamental in Gnosticism, in my experience. Maybe it’s not so obvious in whatever they do up at the church.

On that note, I was a little shocked to find out that First Friends Church, the original and historic Quaker church here and Whittier, is somewhat separated from the original Quaker values. I found this out thanks to the Wikipedia’s article on Whittier. I already assumed this from some assumptions I have about Friends. I heard that crosses aren’t strongly appreciated among Quakers, something I relate to even though I have been wearing a cross recently, and everyone at the studies are wearing crosses. On top of that, their dress seems to be relatively elegant and my memories of church from years ago I can remember everyone dressing up pretty nice for church. Quakers originally valued “plain dress” in the presence of God.

Which relates to a bit from Jesus in Matthew which I read the other night, which says,

“Do not store up for yourselves treaures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
(Matthew 6:19-21)

So, why the predilection toward fancy dress? Right before that is Jesus’ talking about divorce is a bunch of unholy bullshit, which Catholics take so goddamn seriously. How can you obey one to the letter and completely ignore the other? I’m already sure this is going to be an issue that is going to bother me endlessly. Course, on the other hand, Jesus also says that making angry words toward others is as bad as murdering them, so how seriously can you take Jesus anyway?

Also, today I said “crazy shit” and everyone looked at me with a start, especially one girl. So I said, “Yes, I said shit.” She replied, “Oh, thanks, if I didn’t hear you the first time, I sure heard you now.” I was really tempted to go, “What the fuck does it matter if I swear? Have I not gotten to the part of the Bible where Jesus says that swearing is going to send me to Hell, too? I mean he says everything else is going to send me to the Hell, too, so why the fuck not swearing as well?”

But I didn’t. I figured I wouldn’t yet blow my cover. Still, though, seriously, calling me on saying shit? Do these people even live real lives? Or do they stumble through life in some narcotic Jesus trance that shades and protects them from the harsh light of reality? Sorry, but I live in the real world, where swearing is an every day occurrence. I try to hide my swearing from small children as not to invoke the wrath of righteous parents, but still.

But I’m young, I like swearing. I suppose my mouth is a victim of my youth.