ihavebeenfloated

Nick’s girlfriend has this roommate who is really uptight, I guess, and it has been a joke between Nick and Maria that I should fuck her so she stops being such a bitch. I don’t really know why, Nick just doesn’t have any other guy friends I guess.

So, anyway, she’s having a party at her place and I’m dicking around because I feel lazy and she calls me from Nick’s phone and says I have to get up and come over so I can meet her roommate, so I say, “Is this the roommate I am supposed to fuck?”

And, outloud, in a room full of loud voices, she says, “No, not the roommate you’re supposed to fuck, but the cool roommate.”

“Oh, so there is a cool roommate?”

“Yeah, there is a cool roommate and then the roommate you have to fuck.”

“OK, well, then I’ll be on my way once this episode is—”

“No, you—”

“—over in nine minutes.”

Then another voice comes on.

“Hey, ok, get up.”

“What? Who is this?”

“This is the roommate you have to fuck, and you have a pretty nice voice so I’m kinda excited, so get over here.”

“Wow, uh, alright.”

The fuck!

I wanna stay home. ;(