ihavebeenfloated

This domain has served me well. In a lot of ways the title “i have been floated” will never stop defining who I am, and perhaps I will eventually find this to be a big mistake. I feel, though, that this year, this two-thousand-and-eight, should be the year that I finally stop floating. Maybe I am full of shit, generally I am, but I look back at my life and how I’ve lived it and see something different between the me of right now, this instant, and the me of back then: purpose.

Maybe I am being foolish, maybe what I think is direction and motivation is really just another hopeless distraction pulling me in a random direction temporarily until I see something new to pull me in another. I am, and probably always will, be an immature child in an continually aging body.

This body, however, is, indeed, rapidly aging. In less than two months I will be 23, and it felt like merely days ago that I turned 22. Where has this year gone? What happened to me in 2007? A lot, I will admit, a lot of things that opened my eyes to the things that I am capable of and to the things that I want for myself. The truth seems to be this: I want very few things, but the things I do want require a lot of work to get to them. Work that I am scared of, work that costs more than I have ever been willing to give in the past. I have wants and desires that stretch far beyond anything I have ever tried to achieve before.

So, then, I think it is truly about time that I stop floating through life, and start taking steps toward the things I desire. Is this growing up? Maybe, I just don’t know.

I guess I will find out one way or another.